Ain’t Got Time to Bleed

Medical Reports on Hollywood’s Greatest Action Heroes

Written By: Andrew Shaffer, Steve Lefcourt
Hollywood action heroes shrug off bullet wounds like mosquito bites and jump through panes of glass as if their skin is made of asbestos. But how long would these gun-toting badasses last in the real world? Ain’t Got Time to Bleed catalogs the injuries endured by some of the best-known characters in the action-movie genre and uses authentic medical research to assess their real-life chances of survival. Featuring full-color illustrations that reveal how these hard-boiled icons would really look after being put through the Hollywood wringer, Ain’t Got Time to Bleed delivers twenty-nine hilariously grisly diagnoses that will change the way you watch action movies forever.
Format: Hardbound
Publication Date: 11/7/2017
ISBN: 9781608879786
Pages: 64
Trim Size: 7 x 7 x .6

  • About the Author 
  • Press
Andrew Shaffer, Author: Andrew Shaffer is the New York Times–best-selling author of the essential survival guide How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters as well as the Ghostbusters tie-in Ghosts from Our Past: Both Literally and Figuratively: The Study of the Paranormal and the political thriller The Day of the Donald: Trump Trumps America.

Steve Lefcourt, Illustrator: From a young age in the cold mountains of Vermont, Steven Lefcourt knew his love of nature would lead him in one of two directions: science or art. He quickly realized that he would rather paint frogs than dissect them, and his path was set. Besides, he's pretty bad at math. Today he is an apparel designer and freelance illustrator in California.